We are not particles. We are waves.

It has recently come to my attention by a friend of mine that I do not know anything about myself, and that she does not really know me after all.

And now that I think about it, I don't know anything. At all.

Every time I think I know myself or my place in the world, something changes and I quickly realize that I in fact know nothing. Socrates believed that knowing you know nothing is actually knowing more than every one else who thinks they know anything. A true philosopher never comes to any certainties, only to continue questioning, and maybe this is more natural than trying to know.

It makes senses actually. If all matter exists as waves in constant motion and only appear as particles in the eye of the observer, then the same must be true of me, as well. Who I am and what I am is in constant motion. To know me is to stagnate me, make me a particle instead of a wave. No wonder than if you avert your eyes and return to view me, what you thought you knew you no longer know. For I am not to be known. I am constantly changing. To stay the same would be unnatural.

Perhaps this is why relationships don't work out for me. Most relationships are dependent on a certain knowledge of each other to continue. "I know him better than he knows himself," or "Oh, I know him, he would never do that," or "That's so unlike him," or "I guess I never really knew him." It's the knowing that keeps us together and the not knowing that tears us apart. But the presumptions of knowing can be suffocating and limiting. Eventually you become confined to being what the person you are with knows you to be. But this knowledge is forced and unnatural. For as fellow matter we are not to be known or stagnated. We are meant to be ever changing and in constant motion. We are not particles. We are waves.

Liberating isn't it?

Hmmm...no wonder I love the ocean and music so much.

So maybe I'll never know myself. You'll never know me and I'll never know you. But, isn't it the not knowing that makes life worth experiencing anyway? And isn't experiencing life what makes it worth living?